Fake lips and validation

I found myself scrolling through my YouTube feed with a snack in hand, wanting to sit down, relax, and watch something entertaining after a productive day. I came across this interesting looking video title, “Girl Takes LIP FILLER Way Too Far”. Of course it ended up being a Dhar Mann video. Curious, I hit play and watched.

To summarize, the main character is getting bullied by a popular girl in school about her thin lips. So, she decides to get lip filler. With the lip filler, she thinks that not only will she stop getting bullied, but that she’ll attract the boy she’s been yearning after and finally love herself.

Sounds rational right?

Well, not quite. Her bully bullies her harder about the fact that she now has fake lips and she didn’t get any attention from her crush. I was so appalled by the way she was literally throwing herself at the guy she liked after she got the filler, thinking he’d suddenly say,

“Wow! Look at your big plastic lips! I want you!”

It wasn’t like he showed any other qualities other than his looks. And yet she felt like he was the love her life. He barley even gave her a glance!

She decided to get more lip filler illegally and ended up fainting by an infection. She ends up at the hospital, her bully apologizes, her friends tells her again that she’s perfect the way she is, she finally accepts + loves herself, blah blah blah.

After the video had finished, I couldn’t get over the way she threw herself at the guy.

1. He’s just cute. That’s literally it. He wasn’t even nice or had a deep personality. Just cute.

2. He doesn’t even notice her. I bet she absolutely gloats over an accidental glance from him.

3. She has a good friend who thinks she’s perfect just the way she looks. They have a great relationship!

4. She’s way too self-conscious. To the point where it’s getting in the way of her personal relationships and life just because someone else said her lips or too thin.

As I went on and on thinking to myself how stupid she is, I stopped.

Wait. She’s kind of me.

I do tend to fixate on guys who are a little cute and all of the sudden are willing to drop everything for them. I do gloat over small glances. I do fold when they talk to me and ask for the answers on the physics assignment. I do find myself thinking if I should wear something specific because he might not like it. I do ignore my friends when they say he’s a waste of time and that I can do much better than that.

But to the God who loves me deeply and wants all of me and wants to know me and knows me from the inside out and says He loves me over and over again and DIED for me? I can’t stand to give him 5 minutes???

WHAT?!

That girl is Einstein compared to me.

I do want to continue to rant about how utterly stupid I’ve been but, I need to take the step to change instead.

Talk to God. I just need to talk to Him and get to know Him. He loves me and will never stop, so I want to reciprocate His feelings. Yeah, it might take time and it might not be as instant as I’d like it to be but, I’m willing to put in the effort.

Thanks God for loving me and my nonplastic lips <3